calnetalk.com

Local lass · St. Mary's Old Girl Joined: 05 Jun 2007 Posts: 2231

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every
morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was
making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that
one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where
she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and the spare
parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went
upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the
bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waist band of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had
got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood
stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as
she asked him what the matter was.

He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got
most of them back in!!!

_________________