Things kids say

Local lass · Things kids say

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
> After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and
> one for cold milk? '
>
>
> MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was
> so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't
> remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to
> six.'
>
>
> STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much
> that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'
>
>
> BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in
> vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom
> explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
> Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's
> me?'
>
>
> SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't
> give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'
>
> DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I
> cost?'
>
>
> CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked
> what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with
> this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'
>
>
> MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
> kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his
> dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'
>
>
> TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
> wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then
> asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'
>
>
> JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man
> named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his
> wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What
> happened to the flea?'
>
>
>
>
> The Sermon I think this Mum will never forget ..
>
> This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began,
> with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned
> face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at
> that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to
> me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl
> voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust

jolou39

I recently read a book by Gervase Phinn. He used to be a schools inspector and it was full of stories about the things kids say....

There was one story where he attended a harvest festival service in a school. The vicar was saying to the children that on the way to the service he had seen something "grey with a fluffy tail in the tree" and he asked the children what they thought he had seen...

...one boy said " well, I know the answer is supposed to be Jesus, but it sounds like a squirrel to me".

Local lass